Broken. Pained. Hollow. Souless. Crushed. No words will ever be adequate to describe the horror that haunts my soul. Being unexpectedly widowed young is a feeling that one can only understand if they have had the misfortune of walking in these dreadful shoes themselves. As days inevitably pass I have so many thoughts and experiences that I want to share just for the sake of being understood, yet am always stopped short. Things like: coming across as a negative complaner, getting unsolicited *shit* advice, accidentally causing loved ones to worry even more, speading my pain to those around me… All valid reasons that stop me in my tracks from sharing the dark clouds that rain on my soul. But here… and only here… I let it pour.